I was living in Florida when alcohol slowly started taking control of my life and I slid into depression and hopelessness. I would reach out for help all the time in the form of money. “Can you help me with my electric bill?” I would ask my brother. Of course I’d pay only the past due portion of the bill and use the rest for more liquor. I was able to keep that going for a year or so, but then I got so bad I couldn’t even keep the lights on. Or pay the rent, or my car payment. Every dollar went for more and more alcohol and I lost everything.
Finally I was sleeping in someone else’s car and I got a message from my brother to call him, he had heard about how low I was. I called and he asked “Can I send you some money?” My heart jumped for joy! Money! More alcohol! But suddenly a feeling swept over me, and I know now that it was God. I started to cry, and said “I don’t need money, I need help.” My brother told me to drive to Connecticut and get ready to start a new life. That was the turning point in my life and I will never forget it.
I guess everyone is different, each of us has to hit a certain point where we’ll ask for and accept help. My personal “low point” was pretty low. Some people lose their lives on the way to their own personal low point and never get help. In my case I went to my first AA meeting the day I arrived in Connecticut and 10 years later I am strong, confident, and happy I can share my story with others.
I implore anyone who is afraid to ask for help to please try to lose that fear. Anyone who has gone through the hopelessness I went through and then was healed will be happy to extend their hand. I am so grateful to God for giving Bill W. the courage and wisdom to start AA because it truly saved my life.